I was the preschooler who was climbing the window ledges making the visitors squirm. The kid who was always doing handstands and cartwheels, and enjoyed the challenge of jumping off the roof of the house. I swung on my chair at school and my mum asked the teachers if I ever managed to sit still. She knew me. And it didn’t really stop. Although I loved my quiet time reading, I was not usually still while doing it. I moved position constantly and my mind darted all over the place, with several books on the go at once.
It’s genetic. In adulthood almost everyone in my family of siblings had the habit of taking up physical challenges, always rushing, doing things fast, and moving quickly from one task to another. However, for me this approach left me burnt out and constantly stressed. Luckily ten years ago, I learned the greatest challenge of all, and the most rewarding, is the physical challenge of sitting still and meditating!
It took several years to get there. I was a little like those people who say: “I can’t meditate. My mind goes all over the place. I can’t sit still.” I suggest everybody puts a big fat YET after that statement if they are tempted to utter it.
You can learn this, I promise! If flibbertijibbet me, with suspected although undiagnosed ADHD, anxiety and chronic migraine, became a meditator, so can you. I was experiencing such calm and even joy from the attempts at focusing and paying attention, which is essentially what meditation is, that I did not give it away entirely. Even though several years of chronic hip and shoulder pain further interfered with sitting or standing still (it was less painful to move than be in one position) I kept trying through attending classes and retreats, which were supportive, positive and rewarding.
I am now pleased to say that sitting still in a meditation position, now feels completely natural. But what is more important is that I have newfound mindfulness and quality of life due to the benefits of meditation/mindfulness practice. I am no longer taking migraine and anxiety medication, and my belief is that much of this is due to the time I’ve taken to train my mind and body to be ok with being still. Yes, my mind still darts around and my body twitches – I’m still me – and that’s normal and part of being human. The regular practice is what counts. It trains you for life. YAY!!!
Nuggets of Purest Green 